I had a night out with some friends this past weekend and had a fantastic time. With my full-time job, part-time job, raising a teen, trying to write this book - I just don't get out often enough. We were out celebrating a birthday though. We went to a nice place downtown called Noma's. Restaurant by day and apparently a "club" by night (although, it didn't have that CLUB feel, thank goodness). I was pleasantly surprised to see how diverse the spot was!! The music, the people - all races, ages! I was like - wow, ok - it's on the list, for sure!!
I had a glass of wine, some wings...danced to a couple of songs - then I finally settled in at a table, observing. It's packed and people are still trying to squeeze in.
I noticed a couple of nice looking brotha's, but realized they weren't paying us too much attention. So before taking a seat, guess who we were dancing with, lol? White women. Didn't really pay that too much attention at first...because, I mean, we just do that (right?).
Now the birthday girl is a little loud (but respectful), so she starting being a little more forward with greeting folk. They'd smile and keep it moving. We later noticed that most of them were ending up leaning on the bar or sitting at a table with women that were not of color. I was thinking, nahhh, that can't be what's happening. The birthday girl had gone off to the bar and some guy ended up following her back to the table. We all smiled, said hello. His words were not hello - hi, my name is... This guy says, "oh snapppppp....why didn't you tell me you had some red bones at the table?!?" She was like, huh - what da?? That was my confirmation right then and there. I was like dang. No seriously. omg - fa real, did he just say that out loud? Let's roll. Ugh.
Please don't get me wrong. I should definitely be checking the OTHER box under race. And I've dated outside my race as well. I think I was just overwhelmed with the, with the....hell, I don't know what it was. I felt invisible. I mean, have our black men given up on us? Or we on them.
Dating is already hard. Then add that I'm a single parent. And I'm 41. And now I'm not light enough? I might have to throw in the towel. I give.
I honestly think it is a matter of where we are looking. I believe love is love and there are some who date primarily one race and others who don't. I don't think race matters at all but I have come to learn that shallow is shallow and shallow people can never see the inner person. They only see a genetic prototype. I think that once we get out of the shallow end of the pool we see people who are just sincere and really looking for someone similar to themselves...on a inner level to love.
ReplyDeleteHi Toya - thanks for stopping by!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely...love is love - and I will say that I'm pretty open to different packages. I was a little taken, I believe...just felt a little invisible. I will go back to Noma's again, I just love the vibe of the place, but I suppose I need to seek some other spots if I'm looking for some conversation and dance, lol.
No towel throwing. I won't allow it. I met my husband at the mall (and I already had 2 kids - single parent). I knew him before that from work (by face only), but I'm saying, you just never know what will happen. We went to dinner that same night and the rest is history. (plus now I have 4 kids. LOL!)
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