This is somewhat of a follow-up from my very first post. I was surprised at the number of responses, most of them made via email or Twitter DM. I think I need your help in understanding this, but, you know, I could just be over-reacting.
Anyhoo...
Life has been quiet and peaceful since Tori's dad has given me full custody, for me anyway. There was some suffering at home, in regards to Tori's behavior and grades. Not horribly bad, however, it was evident that the situation affected her. The attitude is just that of a typical teen now and the grades are picking back up, thank goodness.
Still, in the meantime, there has been a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter. No cards, no phone call...not even a smoke signal.
I made an appointment for us both to get our eyes examined. They asked for insurance info to verify before hand. Turned out that Tori was double covered, which is a hot mess. Both companies trying to decide who will pay and I end up with the bill. I terminated child support when her dad gave me full custody, which also meant that he didn't have to continue providing her with medical insurance. I decided to contact him, via email, to ask when open enrollment was, so I could see if I needed to schedule the appointment thereafter, assuming that's when he'd drop her. It was brief and to the point.
His reply? Pretty much the same. "I haven't had Tori covered for about a year. Hope this helps." I thanked him and kept it moving. Then it hit me, and honestly, not until the next day... but, that mutha f@#%@ didn't even ask how she was doing? I mean, ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'm thinking, "could you have pretended to care?" How do you just move on in life and disregard a human being you helped create. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
I could care less if he EVER speaks to me again, trust me when I say that. But, WOW. I mean, hell, that's all I can say is WOW. I'm just feeling all kinds of ways about this, mostly sad for her. And honestly, a little lost. Disappointed. Disgusted. Angry. How can someone "remove" themselves, emotionally, from a situation like that? How?
That is really really sad. I hope my situation never gets to that point. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I have told my husband whatever happens that even if he didn't make good choices as a husband , he can be a good father. I cannot believe your ex wouldn't even take five minutes to pick up the phone and talk to his daughter.I hope he wakes up before its too late.
ReplyDeleteMe too. All little girls need their dad. Well, all children need their parents, in some form or another. Children are such a blessing... Thanks so much or stopping by!
ReplyDeleteP.S. your future holds great things! :-)
Taryn, it saddens my heart that he is so disconnected from Tori. My mind can't begin to fathom any type of understanding as to how someone could have their flesh and blood in this world and not give two shits about their well-being. SMFH. I hope that I don't ever have to go through this. Most importantly, I hope my child never has to either. We've talked numerous time about my situation. I don't have much faith in my situation being much different than this one. Us mothers have to stick together and be strong. (sending lots of love and hugs)
ReplyDeleteIt infuriates me when parents cannot act like parents. Creating a child doesnt automatically give someone the label as dad or daddy or father. That is something that is earned. He is showing his true colors and it is pathetic. He is pathetic. My father never asked how I was, and doesnt even care now that I have my own daughter. He came to see her when she was first born and gave me a hundred bucks...as if that was supposed to make up for all the time he missed in my life. You continue being a great parent to her, she knows that its you she can rely and depend on.
ReplyDelete@Kenya - I don't get that whole "disconnect" thing either. Your situation has potential to be something good...we are going to keep praying over that tho, lol!
ReplyDelete@Mommy Glow - I don't think they realize the significance and influence they have, especially not being there. I hate to say it, but I no longer respect him as a father, a man...hell, even as a human being. I know that sounds harsh, and Tori would never know that (unless she googles and finds my blog :-/ lol), but, I'm telling you that I don't get how people go on in life and forget about their children...I just don't.
Thanks so much ladies for coming through! Appreciate the kind words and love!!